Renewing your vows is a special way to celebrate your love, whether it’s marking an anniversary, fulfilling a dream ceremony, or reconnecting after challenges. It’s an opportunity to reflect on your journey, honour your bond, and look forward to the future together. In today’s article, we welcome celebrant Anne O’Brien of Bluebell Ceremonies, who shares some top tips and advice for planning a vow renewal that reflects both your personalities and your relationship over the years.
Anne O’Brien of Bluebell Ceremonies,
“There are lots of reasons why couples might want to renew their wedding vows: marking a big anniversary, wearing their dream outfit or just having fun doing it all over again! One of the reasons that’s trickier to approach, though, perhaps the most meaningful, is re-committing yourselves after difficulties in your marriage. Whatever the cause, renewing your vows in these circumstances can be a wonderful affirmation of your commitment to each other and a genuinely uplifting experience, celebrating the strength of your bond and looking forward to all the adventures that still lie ahead. Here are my top tips for creating a ceremony that’s warm, positive and completely you!”
Make Sure You’re Both on the Same Page
“This might sound obvious, but vow renewals aren’t going to fix long-term divisions … but, if you’ve both arrived at a point where any hurts have sufficiently healed, and you’re properly excited about the future, then it can play a part in reconnecting to the warmth and love you still share.”
Choose Your Celebrant Carefully
“I know you’d expect me to say this, but celebrants are genuinely lovely people, everyone… but they’re also all different, and when you’re creating a ceremony that addresses challenges that you’ve faced as a couple, you need to have a real sense of trust and connection with your celebrant. There’s no shortcut to finding the right person, so do your research, arrange a few calls and choose someone who lifts your spirits and makes you feel at ease.”
Photographer Sam Bennett Photography / Coordinator and Celebrant Bluebell Ceremonies
Celebrate the Past
“When you’ve been through a difficult time in your marriage, it can be tempting to try and draw a line under it and leave it behind, but the best vow renewals acknowledge the ups and downs of married life, touch on the challenges of the past and celebrate how far you’ve come, without trying to wipe the slate clean.”
Prepare for Lots of Emotions
“Vow renewals after challenges in your marriage are heartfelt moments to say, ‘you’re still the one I want for life” (nobody puts it better than Shania Twain!) So, this isn’t the time for surprises, grand gestures or crowds of long-lost friends and family. Keep it intimate (just the two of you is often perfect) and pared back. Also, get ready for a few happy tears.”
Readings and Symbolic Acts
“Choose readings and symbolic acts that are meaningful to you and suit the occasion. Symbolic acts are moments of reflection that signify hope, trust and resilience. Hand fastings work beautifully and symbolise the joining together of two separate lives to form one, but there are lots of other options to consider – it’s about finding something that resonates with you as a couple.”
Vows
“Revisiting your original vows can stir up tricky feelings, so I’d recommend focusing on rededicating your rings (if you have them) and creating some new vows that you write yourselves. This is the most important element in your vow renewal ceremony, so take some time to think these through carefully. I can offer you lots of advice and guidance, or we can arrange a mini vow-writing workshop to find just the right words.”
Photographer Sam Bennett Photography / Coordinator and Celebrant Bluebell Ceremonies
Keep Talking
“You’ve come so far and have weathered many storms along the way, probably because you’ve been able to talk things through. Preparing for your vow renewal is no different – keep checking in with each other and making sure that you both feel comfortable with all the elements involved.”
And Finally …
“Remember this is a celebration! Yes, you’ve struggled, but you’d be hard-pressed to find a couple that hasn’t. Most importantly, despite the challenges, your relationship has endured, and you should be rightly proud of that. Your vow renewal can, and should, be as happy as the day you were married and offers a powerful moment to reconnect and embrace the future.
Acknowledge the challenges … celebrate your achievements … and look forward with optimism. Get in touch if you have questions or ideas – I’d love to help plan your beautiful vow renewal.”
IF YOU LOVED THESE VOW RENEWAL TIPS, SAVE THEM FOR LATER
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