There are many times in life when we can feel disconnected from ourselves, situations and other people. It’s what we do about it that counts. Connection is everything, and staying connected in your relationship is imperative, especially when you’re planning your wedding. It can be a stressful time but staying connected means you can feel what the other person is feeling and acknowledge it. The only way you’re going to initially address your connection issues is by talking. It’s good to talk… as they say and today on Time to Talk Day we have our guest blogger and ‘Agony Aunt’ Ali Moore of Be Moore, a relationship therapist and coach, helping you live and love your relationships! She answers this all-important question ‘How do we keep connected with each other?’…
We already live together, and life just seems to be taking over. How do we keep connected?!
“In this day and age, the wedding is often after the moving in. It is much more common for couples to cohabit well before they decide to take the plunge into married life. Often this happens once children are in the mix too! So even before you’ve tied the knot you may have settled into what we know as ‘life’ and all the ‘lifemin’ that comes with it. On the one hand, you are excited about the wedding, on the other, it’s a whole new set of ‘to-dos’ on your already busy schedules. You have started to notice that you are moving pretty much in the same direction but really on separate roads, with little contact or connection, and we’re not talking about sexually!”
“If you are looking around and realising that you are watching TV in different rooms, going to bed at different times every night and having calendars that are completely unaligned with everyone else’s needs coming first, then this one is for you. If you are wondering if it’s like this now what will happen when the wedding is done then this is for you… stay tuned! Connection or reconnection is vital, and it’s the key part of keeping your relationship in relationship mode, not roommate mode.
Here are my top 5 tips on staying connected with your partner…
1. Schedule check-in sessions – Whether it’s 5 mins each day to see what is going on for each other and how the day went or a weekly debrief of what’s happening and how you are both feeling. Scheduling in time is a priority.
2. Choose at least 2 activities a week that you do together – It could be as simple as watching a series or a movie together or it could be a hobby. Remember you enjoyed spending time with your partner – dates were fun so why stop doing things together now?
3. When you are spending time together make it a rule that it’s a no-device arena – There is no point watching a TV programme together when either of you is on your phone on Twitterverse!
4. If you are a family unit then get a shared family calendar – Share what everyone is doing and whilst it is normal to have your own ‘ jobs’ in the household especially with childcare and activities there is no harm to being open about what’s going on and being ready to support or even just aware that there is a lot on someone’s plate… and don’t be afraid to mix it up once in a while!
5. Treat your partner like your most important job! – Yes, above everything else! You and your partner are the foundation stones in the home, if your relationship crumbles it impacts everything.
“Life is busy these days and a wedding adds a whole heap of extras on the already busy pile but ensuring you remain connected with each other will hopefully mean that not just before and during the wedding season but for years to come you will have a solid partnership.”
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