How To Manage and Reduce Wedding Day Anxiety

There’s no doubt for some people planning a wedding can cause stress and anxiety. If you are losing sleep and finding yourself panicking over certain aspects of your wedding day your well-being should be your first priority. Today’s article looks at how to both manage and reduce those feelings when they arise, this could be at any part of your planning journey, there are no rules and no certain points where anxiety occurs. It’s different for everyone. We have wedding planners Caroline Gould and Victoria Ewing of The Wedding Planners who share their industry expert advice and real-life advice on how to both manage and reduce wedding day anxiety if and when it occurs…

“If being the centre of attention on your wedding day is filling you with dread, let us be the first to tell you, you are not alone. We’ve found it’s not uncommon to secretly not look forward to your wedding day because you’re anxious and worried about the day being ‘all about you’. But we never want that to stop you from having your own special day, so we have some tried and tested ways to help you enjoy your wedding day without feeling overwhelmed or letting your anxieties take over.”


How To Manage and Reduce Wedding Day Anxiety

“A great place to start is to have a conversation as a couple and talk about what you are both comfortable with.  Remember it is your wedding day and the most important people on the wedding day are the two of you. We’re giving you permission to throw out the rule book and adapt your day to suit you. We often find it’s the traditions that can start the anxiety brewing, walking the aisle, giving a speech, doing a first dance. Well, who says they’re compulsory, or that they have to be done in the traditional way?”
How To Manage and Reduce Wedding Day Anxiety


“If the thought of walking down the aisle as all your guests watch makes you feel sick with worry, then don’t do it!  It can be really lovely to stand as a couple in your ceremony and greet the guests as they arrive, no spotlight, no watch-me-walk. Or, if the entrance is still important, but you need some extra moral support, why not walk down the aisle together?  The same can be said for the exit, ignore tradition. Instead of making your exit down the aisle, you could remain in the room at the end of the ceremony and ask all of the guests to leave first – it would give you a precious moment alone.  Anyone that has been married will tell you that moments alone are few and far between on your wedding day so this is a great opportunity to take a moment for yourselves.


How To Manage and Reduce Wedding Day Anxiety


“First dances are also common causes of anxiety, we see nervousness around this moment at most weddings and have a few simple solutions. One, don’t do the first dance. Get a floor filler on and get every guest up there from the very beginning. Or if you want a little nod to the tradition, dance together for the first few lines of the song and then have your bridesmaids and groomsmen geared up to join you on the dancefloor, your band or DJ can help encourage the crowd to join in.”


“The wedding breakfast can also open up some nerve inducing moments, with both speeches and the cutting of the cake being prime moments for the couple becoming centre of attention. We love to see things shaken up, so why not choose a different time for the speeches to take place – look to the Americans and use a ‘rehearsal dinner’ or night before gathering with just your closest friends and family to have your speeches. It’s a smaller crowd and can have a wonderfully intimate feeling. Or perhaps break the mould and ask for alternative speeches, scrap the traditional groom or bride speeches and have some other important guests to speak instead of you! A similar approach can be taken to the cutting of the cake, moving the time you cut it to a more relaxed section of your day can take away stress. As always, scrapping it altogether is fine too. Don’t be afraid to make this day yours. If you’re not into cake, don’t have one at all, the budget can go on something that is more you.”


How To Manage and Reduce Wedding Day Anxiety


“Finally, photography. Easily the most common fear-inducing part of a wedding day! It’s rare to feel comfortable in front of the camera, but we have a few suggestions for ways to ease that stress. Why not remove the formal posed photographs? Candids will give a fly-on-the-wall look at your day, the real moments of you enjoying your guests’ company. We do recommend trying to get a few as a couple at least (they make great Christmas presents!) and if your concern is people watching you have your photo taken, use your schedule to fit in a few ‘posed’ photos when your guests are going to be occupied. For example, you will always be served dinner first, so once you have eaten grab your photographer and head out whilst guests enjoy their dinner.  A good photographer will only need 10 minutes to get some great shots so you could easily fit some private couples’ shots in between your main and dessert!”


How To Manage and Reduce Wedding Day Anxiety

“Our top tip when it comes to getting comfortable with photography is to meet your photographer face to face first. You will spend a lot of time with your photographer on the day so it’s really important to get a good rapport there.  Be honest and tell them how you are feeling and they can then help and give more or less guidance when you’re actually in front of the camera as required!  An engagement shoot is a step further and acts as a good practice run that will help you feel more confident on the wedding day.”

“Ultimately, remember the reason you’re there. It’s the union of you as a couple, the rest should just be joyous and fun and can be exactly whatever that means to you, personally.”



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