Are you feeling overwhelmed and stressed at the thought of planning your wedding? Are you in the midst of planning and the stress levels are taking their toll? We hear you! Wedding planning can no doubt be stressful! In today’s article, we aim to help you combat that with the help of our guest blogger and ‘Agony Aunt’ Ali Moore of Be Moore. Ali is a relationship therapist and coach, helping you live and love your relationships including the stresses that come with them! Check out her tips to deal with stress, especially during wedding planning...
“Stress…it’s quickly become the buzzword of the new century! Everyone is stressed, feeling stressed, and getting stressed, and their partner is stressed so I want to start by taking a look at this word and the impact it has on relationships”.
“Firstly I want to talk about a bit of science behind it. Stress is not an emotion – it is a state of being and it is actually linked to our nervous system meaning it’s all to do with survival. When the body or mind is placed under pressure, the nervous system kicks in and starts to flood our system with stuff like adrenalin and cortisol. Our brain moves away from making big decisions to being totally in the moment and that’s fine in the short term. In fact, some stress or pressure can actually help us stay focused, complete a task or reach our goals. In times of real pressure or stress, people have been able to do amazing things like lift cars off people to save loved ones. However, in today’s world, these times are few and far between, thankfully, and yet we still lead pressured fast paced lives! We’re always connected, online 24/7, and trying to juggle different needs and people. Whilst we aren’t surviving in the traditional sense, we have developed a way of living that can certainly feel overwhelming and when that feeling is long term then stress can be a real concern, both physically and psychologically.”
The Signs of Stress
- The to-do list feels unmanageable, you make lists and procrastinate but never actually tick something off.
- You feel irritable or want to simply have your own space.
- Lack of libido
- Change in eating habits or exercise/self-care.
Want More Relationship Advice? Check out >> How To Keep Connected In Your Relationship When Planning Your Wedding
“Stress is exhausting when it lasts as our bodies are always in fight or flight mode, and we may not sleep well because we are feeling wired and unable to switch off. Sometimes it feels hard to see things clearly and it can all seem too much so we may end up simply withdrawing from life. When tension builds on top of this it doesn’t take much for things to escalate and we can lash out verbally because we aren’t thinking straight. When you put this into a relationship situation and it can wreak havoc. All of this does not lead to great connection and communication. Add a highly stressful task like wedding planning into the mix and it’s a cocktail of stress and anxiety. Helping yourself however you can, is a must. Check out my tips…”
The Steps to Support
- Take 3 small things on the list. Choose things that can be completed very quickly and do them and only them and reward yourself for completing them. Once they’re completed then take another 3.
- Write down everything that is going on for you. Get it all out and think about what is actually causing the most amount of stress and focus on just that. What can you do to work through that particular thing, and everything else can wait?
- Get support. Your partner may not be the best person to talk to and vice-versa. Finding a support group or organisation that gives you space to talk or talking to a friend or relative can really help. Even if you’re not focusing on solutions just allowing yourself to be heard can make a big difference in your mindset
- Please remember that the wedding is just a day. Yes, it’s important but you don’t need the fanciest venue, the fine dining food, or an Instagramable event. Money can be a huge stressor in this day and age. Focus on why you are getting married and the life you will go on to have.
- Overall look to find balance and create time out for you and your partner to just be.
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